Audrey poses the question of whether obsessive thoughts of her birthson are normal - even after an extended reunion? I would have to say, "yes" - for some birthmothers. Obviously you are an involved birthmother eager for contact with her son. So, your thoughts go that way frequently along with, no doubt, your wonderings about his life past and present.
If you were a birthmother who didn't want contact, who had never dealt with her feelings about the past or who was feeling frustrated with the complexities of reunion I doubt those obsessive thoughts would be present. And, in that situation I would have to say that the lack of obsessive thoughts was also normal.
Audrey, you asked if this was a habit? I think that to some extent our thinking does become habitual. And, if these thoughts are more pleasant than not it would of course encourage this habit, right? I know that many of us are structured in our day to day lives. We have schedules throughout the day with chores, work, meals, commuting etc. It is normal for people to "schedule in" time for various mental tasks - including thinking about the people in their lives.
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