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Hi Christi,
I met my daughter 7 yrs. ago. She was pregnant with her first child at the time, and I naively asked her if I was going to become a grandmother. (Looking back, I know it must have been odd), she sent me a full essay form email quoting the dictionary about what the word 'mother' means. She reminded me I signed my rights away etc. As the years passed I tried very hard not to write anything that would pertain to our biological connection - mother and child. It has been hard to do this, as even though I am not the mother who raised her, I am her mother and do have emotions. After 7 yrs. she still tells me that my father who is very old, is not her children's g-grandfather. A grandfather is he not. I did get a bit thrown back hearing this as she is not embrassing her natural family at all. I suppose this is normal in some adoptees for they have their own family, and cannot deal with two. I found her, so I assume she is not interested. We do live very far from each other and the last time I saw her was in the Fall of '02. She feels I am hooked on titles, though I don't want her to call me mother, I was looking for her to acknowlege the connection, then she wrote me sarcastically saying to me, yes, I heed you .. you are my birthmother. (it's as if, I am her birthmother period) and shouldn't have feelings as a mother. She tells me there is no bond that bonds are formed over years with someone. What about the natural bond? Titles are only titles and people earn stances....
Rather confusing,
Hugs, Nancy
Posted by: Nancy | Monday, May 01, 2006 at 10:06 AM